hyper-individualism

Is the dash necessary? I’m not sure its a real word exactly, but the etymology is perfect. We discussed some inter cultural ideas in my speech class, this was the most interesting. I always have ideas bouncing in my head, but its always someone else who ends up expressing them better. Two great quotes i acquired from our lecture:

US: The squeaky wheel gets the oil.

China: The nail that sticks out gets hit the hardest.

From our discussion: the difference between modern US culture and other cultures is that the our value system and ideals breed hyper-individualism by rewarding those who will do anything to succeed above all others. This explains why Capitalism works so well, why companies such as Enron tried everything to get richer, even if they already had enough money to be set up for life. How much money can you possibly need? This kind of behavior just shows what the elite people in our society value, it’s almost as if you cant have too much of anything, as if putting your needs or greed in front of others is acceptable conduct. While many wealthy people are described with words like “Benevolent”, “Philanthropist”, “Donates to worthy causes”, it feels as if they all become competitors eventually.

On the opposite end of the spectrum are those cultures that strive for the good of the community, not just for the individual. It’s considered bad to try and be different! These societies value family, collectivism and “good for the group” higher than anything. There are cultures that still exist today with arranged marriages. There was a news story not too long ago where a woman was killed by her father and brother because she went against her families wishes in who to marry. Now this event tragic and unfortunate in any context or culture, and to us this might seem insane, but in their society it must have been understood. Not accepted behavior, but understood as in many families could have foreseen something like that eventually happening. Arranged marriages are made to honor ones family, to gain riches or prestige, for the good of the group, in this case the family. The family above all, benefits from marrying into another good family, and marrying a stranger is something acceptable for a woman to do for the sake of her family.

While listening to the lecture, i started thinking about myself. 1) As a product of the US institution, i was told that to succeed i need a higher GPA, to get to the BEST school, to make the MOST money later in life. Work hard for YOURSELF. Invest in YOU. 2) As a product of a Mexican family, i want to improve my situation so i can eventually help improve the quality of life for my parents, and my family. What is not acceptable to me, is something that is pretty common in America. Retirement Homes. These are places that people shove their aging parents off to and then forget about them. Other cultures honor and respect their elders and would never think of doing such a thing. I didn’t think id ever put my own needs in front of my families, but i see myself doing it sometimes. Example: My wife can’t go a day without calling her mother, i cant go a week. It could be because women are traditionally more attached, but that doesn’t pacify my mothers need to hear from me, i know she would love a call every day.

The problem i face is now reconciling these two ideals and arriving at some sort of compromise. I am a product of both cultures after all, and i do agree with both ideals to some degree. While i do value family, i know that i wouldnt have a problem distancing myself from a family member who tried to cheat me, for example. That is a foreign thought to my mexican coworker, he has been cheated by his brother, but he doesn’t mind because he is family. We are products of our environment and our genes, but others like me are forced to become products of two environments. I am a work in progress.